Since its founding, the HHDRS has embraced two key objectives; to reveal the truth behind Sir Harold Holt’s so-called ‘disappearance’ and to secure his safe return to Australia so that he can continue his tenure as Prime Minister.  We are firm in our conviction that because Sir Harold was never voted from office by the Australian people nor dumped by his party, he remains the legitimate prime minister of Australia and all who have come after him are merely caretakers.

Because all subsequent prime ministers’ have therefore been sworn in illegally, the governments they have led have been illegitimate.  Accordingly all laws passed by the federal parliament after 17 December 1967 are therefore invalid and that every Australian citizen is obliged to live by statutes in force on the day of Sir Harold’s ‘disappearance’.

We believe that the Immigration Restriction Act (1901) is still legitimate, that the Income Tax Assessment Act of 1936 remains the only legitimate basis for taxation law, that Australian troops should still be engaged in combat operations in Vietnam, that Papua and New Guinea are Australian colonies and that God Save the Queen remains the official anthem.  We believe homosexuality is a myth invented by the ABC.  We reject the idea that smoking causes harm and believe microplastics will lead to a race of superhumans.

We also reject equal pay legislation, view racial, sexual, disability and age vilification laws as

antithetical to free speech, deny the legitimacy of the Federal Court, oppose lead-free petrol, refute the moon landings, and view the government in Taipei as the only legitimate government of all China.  We believe men should wear hats in public and that socks should ALWAYS be worn with shoes.  Women should wear dresses and modest under garments.  We hold that The Last Waltz by Englebert Humperdink is still the legitimate Number 1 song on the Australian Top 40 (which is why a recording is played at the start and conclusion of every dining session in our famed Speargun and Snorkel Bistro on every day of the year.)

It is our firm view that it should be legal to discipline children by striking them with lengths of leather laced with metal coins or hacksaw blades and that denying teachers this right is a targeted assault upon the pedagogical wisdom of Christian Brothers – the greatest teaching order in history.  We also believe that science supports the theory that masturbation causes blindness (See Section on The Professor).

Through its promotion of these ideals, the HHDRS strives to keep alive the memory of Sir Harold Holt and to lock in place the Australia that existed on the day of his removal by nefarious foreign actors.  We see it as our sacred duty to preserve the nation exactly as it was on 17 December 1967, not only because it represented a high point in Australian aesthetic and scientific development, but also to reduce the risk of ‘culture shock’ for when Sir Harold returns.